Smug

Do you ever feel like the coolest fuckin' guy on the whole planet? I call this being "smug", because truthfully, I am not. I feel this way a lot when I step outside my comfort zone, (which takes a long walk), and succeed at whatever I risked doing. For example, telling it like it is. Going up to that woman and telling her how you truly feel and maybe "we should get outta here".

When that type of situation is not available, listening to loud, angry music works just as well.

I walk quick as the beat and smirk at the clever lyrics and glare at everyone I pass on the street. I'm grinning like a Chesire kitten. They may think I am happy, but I'm really just being "smug", which is another way of saying, "I am feeling false superiority". And I'm going to be honest, it feels great.

Long, long ago I lost my faith in humanity and discovered that it wasn't a joke; everyone on the planet REALLY is stupid. This concept applies to most of my friends and some of my family, but I forgive them. They're only human. But for strangers, I have no mercy when I am smug. Everyone is idiotic and everyone gets what they deserve and I am SO much better than they are.

It is best to be smug while driving. Have a deafening, snarling sound system, the bass a heartbeat, the vocals of some possessed soul scream along and you are all set. Pull up to the intersection, and sit there, all smug, surrounded in your castle of sound. When a pedestrian crosses in front of your car, rev the engine, honk the horn, lean out your window and give the finger. When he pauses, confused, yell, "What? What? What you son of bitch!" He will not know what to do. You are so smug.

When the song ends, if my iPod is on shuffle and a sad or boring song comes on, I forget what I'm angry about, and I feel all alone.

I'm losing my hearing this way and I can feel it.