Cardinals in the Super Time Warp Continium Thingy

Normally, I hate football, but I wanted to celebrate the Cardinals in a somewhat unique way. I got baked. Therefore, I'm not serious about an ounce of this, but so what? Enjoy it.

First of all, I hoped the Cardinals lost. They came all this way, through thick and thin, and they still lose it? Amazing ironic drama that would make.
But really, it just ended up being kind of sad. I still laugh, tho.

Personally, I sometimes believe that all games are determined already. It's a performance and it really happens but the one team decides to lose on purpose. They have more to gain that way.

But the Superbowl has to be super interesting so no one suspects, except paranoid weirdos like me. So what happens? An interception at the endzone that is run to the other side. TWICE. Yes, it was quite a coincidence, don't you think? My girlfriend predicted it. She also predicted some of the fights and few other things. Coincidence? I think not.

And why would the game for the Cardinals be fixed? They just had a stadium built and they want a way to justify it, and if they win the Superbowl, what better way? What will they justify next? Maybe they'll pay for anything they want.

ANYWAY

Football is amazing. Amazing.
The way those little men coordinate and move.
Their attacks are precise and brilliant and painful. They lift each other off the ground in mid-air and slam to the earth and it's just incredible. IN-CRED-I-BLE. I've never watched a game so closely before.
It's greased machinery. So sci-fi.
STARE.

Humanity has never been so great nor so terrible. The Superbowl is proof of this peak, but global war is proof of this valley.

DID YOU KNOW?
John Madden will be assassinated. He may not seem like much, but he is one of the most important political figureheads in the world. Of course you know that already, subconsciously. When Madden dies, chaos will break forth over the earth.

But everything is planned anyway. There is no chaos. Everything is so amazingly orchestrated. Nothing happens by accident. It may have merely been an explosion but the creation of the universe was a chain reaction that started a chain reaction that is so intricate and perfect. Who cares if it's controlled by strings or something else, the point is it's so tightly knit, it's unbreakable.

Everyone does what they're supposed to. How can anyone act surprised, ever? Terrorist attacks? Bound to happen. Earthquakes? Just a matter of time. The end, the end, the VERY end? Just wait.

Time is a circle, the creation and the destruction of the universe are the same explosion on different ends. The end is going in, and the creation is going out. A mobius strip. President Bush steals his election, always has and always will. The Cardinals lost, they have always lost and always will lose. In a couple billion trillion years, the cycle will repeat and they will lose again.

In that case, you are a reincarnation. You are you, but you are always you and you never were not you. (You weren't anything else, not a beatle or a sloth or whatever. You are a reincarnation of yourself). When you learn, you are simply remembering something you've known all along. Hard to explain that feeling, isn't it?

But most important to realize is that an animal that lays eggs has it's uterus inside that shell, technically. It's not called that, but whatever. So therefore, pregnant women have the shell of the egg inside them. Pregnant women are therefore giant eggs.

I think I will write a Star Wars blog next.

Stoopid Girls

06 Sep 2007

Stoopid Girls Dear Stoopid Girls, Here is some prose I found on the internet. Live and Learn. Scientific Fact 8: Your Internet Girlfriend Has Body Image Issues It took her three months to send you a picture when you started dating. You finally saw her, smiling sheepishly, in a photo attached to an email with the subject line "SORRY THAT I'M SO FAT..." No matter how many times you told her she was beautiful she would always object, insisting that if you saw her in real life you would run the other way. Why not meet, you suggested, so that she could see how untrue that was. She was radiant when she picked you up at the airport, a thousand times more beautiful than in the pictures. Her hands shook when you hugged and she apologized for being nervous. A few months later she confessed that she was shaking because she hadn't eaten for nearly three days before you arrived so that she wouldn't look bloated. On her 26th birthday she shrieked when you tried to take a picture of her blowing out the candles. They were carefully arranged on top of a bowl of fruit salad because she doesn't eat cake. You weren't allowed to grab her ass when you fucked or to run your hand along the inside of her thighs. Cellulite. Next week when you leave her she'll cry so much that she will almost choke. You'll walk out anyway because you're tired of tuna for dinner and sex with the lights off. She'll whimper between sobs that she knew she didn't deserve you, she knew you were too good for someone like her, that she's hideous. One day she will meet someone who agrees, someone who will hit her just like her first boyfriend did. http://scientificfacts.livejournal.com/?skip=10