Forgetting How.

Note: None of this is really all that true. It’s an experiment?

I think I’ve forgotten how to talk to people.

Whenever I’m contradicted, I get this pain in my gut, a metaphysical pain, a sucking, existential gnawing that everything I know is wrong, I’m wrong about it all. But then I remember that the person I’m talking to has only said they don’t like Radiohead. Or that taxes are a good thing. Nothing serious.

Instead of relaxing, I just don’t say anything. I know I can probably argue better, or at least try, but now I just refuse.

I don’t think it’s weakness; it’s either laziness or apathy or something. Maybe it’s also fear, fear of arguing, that’s what it is. But it’s a temporary ailment, as far as I’m concerned and I’ll get back into the swing of shouting my opinion back.

I mean, I won a YouTube argument today. How about that? I didn’t think it was possible and yeah, arguing on the internet is like running in the special Olympics, etc. But hey, I proved a point and did it peacefully and the other person didn’t have anything to say. That’s a start, right? Soon I’ll be able to stand up for myself and argue again. Or maybe not.

I got an email today telling me to call my Senator and tell him that I don’t support the new bailout “stimulus” garbage. So, spur of the moment, I called Sen. John Kyl and when I got one of his secretaries, I started my rant:

“I want to tell Mr. Kyl that I don’t support this bill and that it will make the economy worse and, and, and –“

“—Mr. Kyl has already voted NO on the bill and as far as I know, his opinion of the bill hasn’t changed.”

“Oh.” And I believed him.

“Good day.” Click. I didn’t even bother calling McCain.