I.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123051100709638419.html
Skim the above article and then wallow with me in trivial discussion.
Suppose the country you live in and love were to be in utter chaos in less than a year. It seems logical, almost. The states will withhold tax payments on these shitty bail-outs, the Fed moves in with military force, the rest is history. Even if that doesn't happen that way, suppose this Russian professor was a least half-right.
What would you do?
This should put a lot more strain on whatever reflections, if any, you have on 2008. If this coming year were the last you experience before everything changes, changes beyond belief, what are you going to do? Isn't it obvious?
Make it kickass!
Get off your lazy ass and actually commit those new year revolutions, the ones from last year that you gave up on.
Get off your lazy ass and fulfill the dreams you had as a kid. The hardest part is getting started. You can keep yourself motivated enough to keep going.
Get off your lazy ass and breath in real air and tell everyone you love them. That's most important.
Do something with your life.
The end is nigh.
This is your last chance to do something meaningful.
Now, do you have any excuse left?
II.
Saw YES Man with Jim Carrey. Great film, very funny, provoking message. Basic premise is a man who never takes a chance decides to never deny another opportunity again. He causes chaos in his life, but it's good-spirited, happy chaos. The kind I lust after.
It made me reflect on my carefree, driven attitude on life. It made me grateful for all the opportunities I've taken, the chances I went for.
Romantic, illegal, terrifying, dangerous, wonderful. I don't care if I ever got in trouble, which rarely happens anyway, I just care that I did it.
A long time ago I decided I wanted to become a person who always had an interesting story to tell. I'm happy to say that today I feel I am that person. I didn't say no.
III.
I wrote some of my own personal reflections, if you care.
I think that 2008 was the best year of my life. Before that, it was 2007, and so on and so forth. I love my life. I have no regrets, but I wouldn't regret it if I did.
I long ago imagined the kind of person I wanted to be one day and have ever since strive toward that role. That role is Mene Tekel. I want to become him, something I created, something I am not. In 2008, I have made the largest steps toward becoming my own person.
I became a journalist this year. It started with work at the Lumberjack, then the menial tasks at the Citizen but most of the fall, when I started to really hound down stories and pound out reviews. I feel like a journalist when I step into a room. An amateur, to be sure. I know I'm not great, but this is a step and I will continue to strive toward it.
I became a photographer. I was forced by my class to take pictures with an expensive camera, hated it, then fell in love with it. In 2007, I took 2,000 pictures on my point and shoot (in the 7 months I had it). In 2008, I took 8,300 not including the several dozen film rolls I burned through. I bought a Flickr pro account which really gave me incentive to take pictures more decently. While none of that makes me a pro photographer, an amateur to be sure, I still strive for photographic decency. I carry my cameras wherever I go, in hopes of finding a great shot. In fact, I did find such a shot today when I discovered a burning city bus with Dave.
I long ago realized that to attract a wonderful lover, I must be a wonderful lover. And years of hopeful, agonizing patience have paid off. I've discovered a blossom, someone I really want to bloom into old age and even death alongside. Gean Shanks is the companion and friend and lover that I have worked hard to earn. I still don't deserve her, and probably never could, but I will continue to strive towards making our life pleasant by being decent to her.
I overcame a lot of personal self-destruction. For the first time in my life, I don't outright hate myself and I feel free from several disastrous addictions. Any childish angst I retain has been redirected into something productive, such as my downright disgust for unauthorized authority. At least, I hope so. Hard to say for sure.
I traveled more in one year than I think I have ever done. I visited Las Vegas, San Diego (twice), Catalina Island, Tucson, New Hampshire, Boston, Virginia and Maine. I learned much from the people I encountered and added stories to my endless list. I think I became more worldly, open-minded and loving towards humanity. Wow, that was probably the world's worst attempt at being humble. If that's not true, if none of this is true, whatever. At least I got some nice pictures out of it.
I kept all my resolutions from last year, but one. I think that's pretty good. I will make some more this year that have more to do with who I wish to grow into, such as get a tattoo, learn to write better (in tons of ways), get another internship if possible, get a show, publish a book (either by myself or through a publisher, which would be better), don't worry about money and most of all, don't get caught.
My goal is to make 2009 the best year of my life.
(Note: I started every above sentence in section III with "I". For once, it's me, me, me and I don't have to feel guilty. But I'm bored with discussing myself, so let's talk about you. What are your plans for the last year of normality, before the economy collapses and the levee breaks?)
