Everybody Poops but Not Everybody Eats! - Free Book Download!

So teaching kids things is important and all, so I went out on a limb and drew up a kiddie book called Everybody Poops... But Not Everybody Eats. It's about world hunger.

It seems important to teach kids how to poop, how to recognize colors, how to count, etc. But they're saturated with that, so I wanted to teach them about something no one really talks about - starving slowly to death. That's important, too, right? I wouldn't know. I don't actually have kids.

Maybe you're thinking this will give children a negative worldview. Or will it give them a realistic worldview? Flip a coin. They're gonna grow up to pop Prozac just like mommy and daddy anyway. Why not expedite the inevitable?

You can download the book for FREE and decide for yourself. Don't tell me you're above experimenting with your kids. You're already gonna treat one of them better and see which ones becomes more successful. So take this a step further, B. F. Skinner, and scar your children for life with my cheery colored pencil drawings of hunger ravished people. You'll thank me later.

Download here!

P.S. The book is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License. This means you're free to copy and share this book, but you can't sell it. Let's make the world a less hungry place. By thinking about it. That works, right?

Day Three: Opium Eater

I've discovered quite a lot in that basement. I found Do-It-Yourself Strip Tease. I wonder if they have strip teases where you don't do it alone. I found an old Bible. Provocative Piano by Dick Hyman. No better name for that album. A collection of Gregorian chants.

A bunch of short stories, including Confessions of an English Opium Eater by Thomas De Quincey. It is such a dark, beautiful memoir. It is exactly how I want to write A Link to the Past, a short story I'm kicking around.

I want to read and and do nothing but educate myself. In college, I was too busy to learn. I researched Agent Orange. The pictures are horrifying but they fascinate me.

I went with my grandpa to take food to an invalid woman. Weird how all the invalids I've known smell the same. I like working with them tho.

Ate Syrian food. It's where I'm from and my grandparents cook it a lot. It was good.

They don't refrigerate their butter. Their jams are the best. Learned how to cook bacon.

Fell asleep in the car. Me and my apneas.

Got a callback from someone. We'll see if I get the job.

Met a woman named Rhonda. The first thing she said to me, "Do people often tell you you look like your father?"
"Anyone who knows us."
"Cuz you do." She chuckled. "Your father used to yell at me for not singing into the microphone."

She invited me to lead a Bible study with her next, for the youth. The kids are about my age. We're reading a book that questions how anyone knows God exists. I like it, but it's pretty elementary.

I would take more leadership opportunities, but no one offers them to me. I have a heart for service, but I won't pursue it. It's not laziness; it's fear. Who cares? It's probably for the best.

There are spiders in my house. They watch me shower and defecate. I won't kill them because they get the skeeters. They are my friends.

I went to a greenhouse to buy flowers. I found it really pretty.

This could be my diary. My personal journal has been neglected since I landed. I could write about my life like this all the time.

But I won't.

Things You Can Ponder

SEX
DEATH
GAMES
INFINITY
MARRIAGE
PARTIES
WORK
RELIGION
FOOD
CHILDREN
GHOSTS
NOTHING

ALL OF THE ABOVE: